


Value

by JumpingTheMoon



Category: Yandere Simulator (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Genderbending, Genderswap, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 02:10:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11727327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JumpingTheMoon/pseuds/JumpingTheMoon
Summary: You are a girl without emotions. That's what you thought, before you came to this school... and several boys start provoking them within you, for good or bad. This is a story when that happened twice in one day.





	Value

“Got you.”  
  
Your first thought after getting shoved into the wall hard enough to hurt, and being pinned there by a boy twice your size, was idly wondering which was more sturdy.  
  
The wall seemed like the obvious choice. Even the most powerful humans had countless weak points and vulnerabilities. Like, for instance, the way your long, aching stocking-clad legs just gave out after a few laps around the entire school complex. A horse could have made the trip so many times, although even it would have gotten tired. Probably before this intense red-eyed boy here. Nemesis-kun, instigator of this little chase for reasons that completely pass your understanding, wasn’t even breathing hard. The rise and fall of his chest came in even waves, and his ghostly-pale skin hadn’t broken out in even a bit of sweat yet.  
  
He was inexhaustible.  
  
“Well? Nothing to say?”  
  
A tinge of something that a healthy person might call annoyance bubbles up to the surface. You’re a gasping wreck, and probably couldn’t manage to stand up if you weren’t being securely pressed up against the wall by a living powerhouse. This boy barely had to exert himself. Part ot it was just the unfairness of life, giving this person who seemed hell bent on chasing you a stronger, more robust form than your own.   
  
But you can tell it’s far more than just ‘he’s a man’. He works out. A lot. Pressed up against him, your keen powers of observation note the ripple of his muscles beneath that uniform. The parts of you that aren’t so logical, and are normally suppressed behind a wall of grey apathy and silence, were also having quite a reaction to this situation. He’s not just pushing you into the wall with those black-gloved hands, he’s using his entire body to keep you in place. He doesn’t seem to care that this is a shockingly intimate position for two senior high school students to be adopting. He doesn’t mind your breath in his face as you desperately struggle to catch it, or how your lips were inches apart.  
  
You don’t either, of course. You’re broken. You don’t feel anything when a man does this to you. It’s just what’s happening. You just analyze a situation and act in whatever way benefits you the most. Help others, hurt others? If you could, you’d choose ‘hurt’ here, but he really does have you.  
  
You can tell all sorts of things about him in this position. He’s not twice your size from height… mostly. He is taller, but boys tended to be. He’s just built thick all over, wherever you tend to be thin.   
  
You were staring into a pair of glowing red eyes past that curly black hair when you finally had an amazing realization.  
  
This was what fear felt like for normal people. You were actually getting to feel it. It must have been this. When any normal person was afraid, it felt like this, right? It was the same thing, it was an emotion.  
  
When those things do happen to you, it’s basically your own personal religious experience. You can barely get out a breathy whisper. “Can I…. help you?” You can’t even keep your voice steady.  
  
Those red eyes widen, and a part of you recognizes that you caught him off-guard with such a polite question, given your situation. And your general barely-restrained excitement. Any other girl would be screaming and struggling. Your lack of apparent reaction, combined with that polite line, might give you a single chance to try and shove off this wall, take him by surprise…  
  
“Nnngh.”  
  
Okay, maybe the wall isn’t such a shoe-in after all. Even though he was warm, breathing, and presumably a person just like you, Nemesis-kun there wasn’t budging. Your arms might have been the only part of you that isn’t absolutely exhausted trying to get away from him, but their best efforts manage to ruffle his uniform. With a deeper grunt, he keeps you firmly against and beneath his body.  
  
“I know who and what you really are, Ayano.”  
  
That was rich, considering you don’t even know everything about yourself.  
  
“You’re hurting me.” It wasn’t a lie. After your escape attempt, he’s trying to squash your thinner, smaller feminine figure into the white-painted school hallway. It’s working; he must have wrestling training or something, although normally you were supposed to pin opponents to the ground, not a wall. This way gave the encounter a certain vibe that a normal person would get from it. Just because you couldn’t be like a normal didn’t mean you couldn’t anticipate their reaction if they happened to see this.  
  
That wasn’t the primary concern. If you let him grind down the rest of your strength, then you really won’t have any options for escape. You had no clue what he actually wanted, or if he was going to be dangerous. What made him think he knew you?  
  
Reading minds was something people couldn’t do, even those who boasted about being so good at telling what other people were thinking all the time. You always passed those ‘scanner’ people, with them being none the wiser. You’d never, in your entire life, given others one single outward indication of what you were most certainly capable of.  
  
If push came to shove, and somebody got in your way on the road to Him.  
  
Damn this brick wall of a man. If only you had something close to hand, something that could take care of him. If you had a knife, then the fact that he towered over you wouldn’t necessarily mean he won. If you were both unarmed like this, then in essence, his whole body became a weapon.  
  
One apparently dedicated to getting your heart racing, your blood pumping, your eyes wide open, and filling your head with the sort of feeling, the sense of being alive, that until now….  
  
You’d only felt with a very small number of people. It would be a shame to add this boy to the list of ones you didn’t mind being around for its own sake, the ones who helped give your world a little tinge of color. Given that he seemed intent on thwarting you? Hurting you? Whatever he wanted, it couldn’t have been good. But the idea, the possibilities flashing through your mind, weren’t themselves unpleasant.  
  
Or even if they were, a person who has lived her entire life slow-motion dying of thirst will take even dirty water like it’s mana from heaven.  
  
The urge to escape melted away, replaced with simple and honest curiosity. “... What now?”   
  
“W-W-What’s going on here?!”  
  
Of course, that’s when somebody came running down the hallway.  
  
You and your captor looked to the left in the same moment, turning one pair of burning, passionate red eyes, and one pair of ice-cold unfeeling dark eyes, on the same target. The person who’d come to interrupt this dance, lucky for you. It wasn’t even just some random student; the nervous stutter gave it away, and in fact, there before you stood one of the school’s club leaders.  
  
Not necessarily the most respected or popular figure, but there he was.   
  
A mop of fluffy, messy dark purple hair, matching the color of his gloomy eyes. Ghostly-pale skin. A distinctive red armband, the only splash of ‘hot’ colors across his figure. His black button-up uniform was undone a few buttons down, revealing something that you hadn’t expected; there’s a bit of muscle tone there. Not nearly as much as your assailant, but it wasn’t the threat of physical force that was coming to bear here.  
  
Instead, it was the soft click of cellphones from behind him. While all Oko had in his own hand was a brown leather bound book carved with a pentagram, he had several students backing him up. Each one had their phones up, and was taking pictures of the current, quite awkward, situation.  
  
You’d never been more happy to see anybody in your life. In fact, you’d only been happy perhaps four times, ever. Maybe this wasn’t exactly being happy, but eventually you’d learned to recognize certain mental impulses; things which helped you were Good, things which could harm you were Bad. It wasn’t like feelings, because as your Mother had always said, the women in your family never had feelings.  
  
Until they found The One.  
  
… Then why did several boys give you this rush of color, and make the blacks-and-whites-and-greys of the world all melt away? Were those not feelings?  
  
The relief of pressure as the red-eyed demon finally backed off made you sigh, even as you gasped for breath, slumping back against the wall. A wall didn’t benefit you much, and was often a problem when you needed to spy on somebody, or access a restricted area, or break laws, but in its defense, you were also never chased down by a wall. Before today.  
  
“This girl is dangerous, Ruto.”  
  
“Then w-we have something in common,” The prime goth of the Akademi replied, squaring his shoulders and giving his best angry glare. It was deeply unconvincing. Some of his club members behind him, in similar goth stylings and colors, managed better leers of hatred. Many of them had been the victims of, well, various things in society. You recalled a few of their sob stories from a previous club meeting.  
  
You didn’t understand why water leaked from their eyes as they spoke, but you could at least recognize the logic underlying their decisions. If the light was painful, seeking the shade was what any animal would do. Even humans, who had an amazing capacity for finding trouble.  
  
“It’s pretty obvious what you were trying to do with that girl, sicko!” You didn’t go so far as to actually remember any of the club members’ names, but that girl was sure forceful. “And if you don’t fuck off, all these photos are going straight to the teachers!”  
  
You considered making a joke about being careful which teacher they sent it to, but that was tonally inappropriate for the situation.  
  
“You in particular shouldn’t be so happy to see her,” Your nemesis said, pointing at Oko Ruto, eyes narrowed.   
  
“That’s none of your business, jerk. D-Don’t ever come near Ayano again, or I promise y-y-y-you’ll regret it!” He was visibly shaking, the fluff of his hair actually vibrated. It looked like this sort of confrontation wasn’t his style, and from what you remembered about previous conversations, he wasn’t a very aggressive person. At all. Yet there he stood, in front of some barely-human rage machine, and told it to fuck off. For you.  
  
Why bother? Why did any of them bother? Did the noise against the wall disturb them? You finally notice that their clubroom is just around the corner, so maybe that was it. They came to check out the noise, and saw this, and... didn’t like it? You weren’t even a member of their club, you were still browsing and window-shopping, you’d met these people twice or three times, ever.  
  
Nemesis-kun over there shook his head, and finally backed off. He didn’t have the slouch of a broken and defeated man, a sight you were more familiar with.   
  
And not just from Dad.  
  
“Your funeral. You’re all dressed for it, anyway.”  
  
Anyhow, you knew what to do in this situation. Once your lungs were no longer on fire, you bowed low and deep to the Occult Club, and offered apparently heartfelt thanks. It was just a front, of course, since you were completely dead inside. Mom had always said that even in extreme situations, you couldn’t expect as much as one flicker of real emotion. The closest was just the adrenaline coursing through your veins now, a purely biological reaction. But you were able to make it very convincing. After all, it was objectively true that without them, you’d have been in deep trouble.   
  
Bowing also helped you gather yourself a little bit, so your twitch was less pronounced. “Thank you all so much.”  
  
This was a group of people who were not used to hearing that from anybody who appeared outwardly sane. Their leader in particular blushed, rubbing the back of his head like he had something to be ashamed of, and he had trouble for a few moments in meeting your eyes. When his gaze was cast down towards the floor, it was easier to see the bags under his eyes, and bruise-like lines indicating a sleepless person.  
  
He managed to look you head-on eventually, and you got to marvel at how different two boys could be. His purple eyes held no trace of malice or anger, but weren’t dead either; they shined, on you.  “Anybody would do the same, right?”  
  
If only people knew what this boy was really like, they would probably find his beliefs about helping people to be quite acceptable to them. It would and match their own value system, and thus give them a reason to offer him acceptance. Even you knew enough to prefer having good neighbors to bad ones, in a general sense. It made your own life easier.  
  
“I suppose, but you guys were in the right place at the right time. I wish I knew why he decided to start chasing me.”  
  
One of the girls put her hands on her hips. You noticed how three of the five club members, Oko included, covered their wrists with similar gloves or wraps. “Like I said, that part’s obvious. He’s just a creep!”  
  
“... And not like us, he’s the bad kind!”  
  
You produce a good nervous, adrenaline-pumped smile, tinged with enough sadness to reflect the state of a normal girl who had just been assaulted. In response, there are nervous laughs from the Occult Club, at least until you can’t manage to stand on your own. Oko is over at your side in an instant, reaching out with his purple fingerless gloves to steady your shoulder. “A-A-A-Are you okay?!”  
  
“I’m just worn out from running away from him,” You say, taking in Oko’s features now that he’s much closer to you. He doesn’t have Nemesis-kun’s statue of a body, but isn’t as thin and lanky as you suspected. The impression you get can only be called ‘soft’, like if you leaned into his hair or shoulder or neck, it would be a comfortable experience. You decide to test it out, playing it off like you’ve collapsed. Or maybe you actually did. Regardless, Oko’s blushing worsens considerably the closer you get, but he stays focused on helping you into the open door of the clubroom.  
  
It’s not a place many students would choose to go, or even want to be carried. Admittedly, a classroom could take on an entire new life with the curtains drawn to block out the ruddy orange-reds of the sunset, snuffing all the natural light from it… only to be replaced by lines and rings of lit candles all over. Their flickering little flames cast everything into a warm color, and let you see all the desks and most of the chairs piled up into one corner of the room. In the center, is drawn a huge, intricate symbol, in a deep, blood-red paint. There are larger candles ringing it, and you recall this symbol is known as a pentagram. A five-pointed star that was supposed to have powers. Or something.  
  
Despite his caring nature, you spent a moment wondering if he was going to bring your trembling form into the center of that pentagram and sacrifice you to some dark god. Fortunately not; he helped you into a chair, and glided over to one of the side tables to get some of the plentiful snacks and drinks piled there. You notice empty packages and detritus piled high on the trash bin, including a lot of bottles.  
  
The other club members had questions for you. They crowd around, and you notice how similar everyone’s color scheme is; there must have been plentiful hair dye at work, to give everyone that look. These kids hung together. You give them whatever answer would be believable, but also de-escalate the situation. Even if Nemesis-kun were to get into trouble for attacking you, that would lead to an investigation, which would lead back to the reason he was coming after you in the first place.  
  
It was also a little difficult to lie to their faces, after they helped you out, but you managed without a single slip-up like usual. It wasn’t a lie that would harm them; the less they knew about you, the better in general.  
  
When Oko returned, he made an offering that wouldn’t have been out of place in the Gaming Club; chips and soda. “Uh, I realize that this isn’t, very, good food. For your situation. We don’t have a lot of… water…”  
  
You smile more, now being in a safe place among friends. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not hungry, but I will take something to drink.” Drinking lets you compose yourself a little. The nervous twitch is completely gone, and nobody noticed. The others just ask more about Nemesis-kun and what his problem is, but you couldn’t tell them even if you wanted. Oko quickly got fed up with this, and asked the others to let up. They did immediately and without question, relaxing back into what seemed like their normal club activity of sitting around and being wierd.  
  
“... Wait, what if he really was a vampire? Did you see those eyes?!”  
  
At least, until a girl looked at her phone and noticed the time. “We really should be getting home. C’mon, guys.”  
  
“Go on ahead, I’ll make sure she’s okay,” Oko said, waving everyone off. There was a mad scramble to erase the dark summoning circles, put out the candles and pile them back into cabinets, and rearrange all the furniture properly. You tried to help, but Oko pulled you back into your chair, before he realized he was being a bit forceful, blushing more, apologizing more, and being cute-  
  
Being what a normal, healthy girl would think a cute boy looked like. The black choker around his neck helped that a lot, too, but that was just meaningless aesthetic preference.  
  
As long as he was concerned for you, then your interests aligned. And if nothing else, this afternoon had proven that there were some situations you couldn’t handle alone. Even if you’d had something sharp to hand and could have disposed of him, then there would have been a body, and as it turned out, witnesses. Too many to handle, and a few of which had value to you in various ways.  
  
It was better that the situation unfolded that way. In the future, if Nemesis-kun didn’t take the hint and kept trying to obstruct you, you would need to turn things around socially. Friends, allies, confidants. To a degree.  
  
If a normal on the street sees an old lady wrestling with a young man for a bag, then the assumption will default almost universally to defending the old lady. It was a natural impulse and learned behavior from society, regardless of the actual circumstances. It could be easily manipulated. It was useful, so you’d remember.  
  
In spite of his lack of self-confidence, Oko was a useful boy, too.  
  
And very fluffy.  
  
As it turned out, making sure you were okay involved walking home with you. The streets were as empty as they can get; most students left as soon as they could, and those who stayed didn’t tend to beat the sunset getting home. You both shared an appreciation for a good long silence. Eventually, you can’t help but speak up regardless. “Oko, your club stays out late on meeting days, right?”   
  
You suspected he was getting more comfortable in your presence, which helped with the stuttering. You were grateful for that. “Correct. Not everyone has a great, uh, home life. Sometimes we just eat dinner together, or go out somewhere.” On the surface, people accepted you as a normal, but turned away from this group of misfits. But they were able to stick together, and probably improved each others’ lives a lot in the process. Even seeing a brief snippet of their club life together seemed, in some way, nice.  
  
“It would be more healthy if somebody could cook for you all.”  
  
His voice was low, and usually so soft-spoken. His laughter catches you by surprise. “Hahaha. I suppose. Is that an offer? We could use a chef if we’re going to be camping out.” He blinked a few times, and then got red again. It was less noticeable because his pale complexion was already red-orange from the glow of the sunset on the horizon. “I mean, uh, sorry. I didn’t mean to try and do a r-recruitment pitch or anything. You must have so much on your mind after w-what happened.”  
  
If direct solutions to certain problems weren’t possible, then working together only made the most sense. It wasn’t like the smile on your face was a genuine reaction to his awkwardness. When you took his hand, it was just an outward gesture for his benefit. The warmth of his grip, a warmth that wasn’t dangerously hot, but instead comforting, didn’t get through to you at all. “Don’t worry about it.” The road branched off; one way led home, the other led to Senpai’s. “This is pretty close. And I know your house is on the other side of town.”  
  
“Ha… right… Take care.”  
  
“You too. Oh, and your next meeting is Friday, right?”  
  
Oko tried and failed to mask the way his expression lightened up. It was quite a sight, and one that only four other people in the world had probably ever been given. You didn’t understand some things about life or living, but you knew enough to feel like you were being given some rare treasure worth memorizing. “Right.”  
  
Getting to feel emotions two separate times, sampling both the negative terror of helplessness, and the soaring relief of rescue and friendship, in a single day had you practically skipping down the lane to Senpai’s home. The memory of that passionate red stare, and the unguarded smile of a gloomy boy, stuck with you.  A good, solid hour of peeping on Senpai’s evening reading was the best way to end off the day.  
  
You were in such a good mood that the original reason for all this incident didn’t seem like such a big deal anymore. Maybe trying to get rid of a girl for loaning Senpai a book was going a  _little_  too far. Especially if He seemed to enjoy it. It wasn’t like it changed anything, except making Him a little more happy.  
  
Plus, if you were able to feel something, even the tiniest sparks, from other boys, then it wouldn’t be reasonable to be so totally jealous about Him. You were a reasonable girl, above all other things.  
  
Yeah. Midori could survive to go on bothering her boyfriend about his video game or whatever until he finally got fed up enough to do the deed, and handle things for you.  
  
Since Senpai’s bathroom window was too high to permit you a good angle, when He went in for a shower, you finally made your way home.  
  
… What could you prepare enough of to feed six people, carry to school discretely, and which wouldn’t go bad through the school day until dinnertime, anyhow?


End file.
